


Escape into My Dreams

by AnonLife



Series: Miraculous Starts [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Miraculous, Angst, Author Marinette, Eating Disorders, Escapism, F/M, Fat Marinette, Fat Shaming, Hawk Moth is Gabriel Agreste, Hurt/Comfort, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 08:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonLife/pseuds/AnonLife
Summary: In a world without the Miraculous, Marinette is just an average Parisian teen. When being average ends her hopes of becoming a fashion designer, she escapes into her literary dreams.





	Escape into My Dreams

  **3- The Author**

 

* * *

 

 _In the daytime, I’m Bridgette. Just a normal girl, with a normal life. But there’s something about me that no one knows yet, cause, I have a secret..._  
  
_With the Miraculous of Creation, Bridgette harnessed the power of her Kwami, Tikki, to transform into the beautiful and creative Ladybug. At her side, the flirtatious rogue, Chat Noir joined with the Miraculous of Destruction and his Kwami, Plagg, to aid her in protecting Paris from the malevolent Papillon and his akumatized victims._  
  
_Yet, unbeknownst to Ladybug, the partner that battled evil by her side was secretly the boy she loved…Félix._

 

* * *

 

A contented sigh escaped Marinette’s lips as she rapidly typed, painting a beautiful portrait of her dreams. Occasionally, the young author paused to grab a cookie by her side as she mulled over the next action sequence or romantic mishap between her characters.  
  
“What do you think Tikki?” the dark haired woman asked, turning toward a small stuffed toy sitting on her desk. “Will Bridgette have enough time to win design competition; or, will Monsieur Pigeon prove to be too much of a nuisance?”  
  
Of course, Marinette didn’t expect a reply. It was sad, but her childhood toy was the only one she could talk to for her writing. It was her little secret.  
  
If anyone knew, she probably would’ve been called remarkable. Perhaps, an interview with Nadja Chamack or a song would have been dedicated to her by Jagged Stone. Yet the truth could hardly be believed. A young girl published the acclaimed book series, Miraculous, les aventures de Ladybug et Chat Noir? She wrote her stories while she was still in collège? Ludicrous!  
  
But sometimes... after a particularly trying day, the young woman dreamed of telling people the truth...  
  
The ‘How’ was easy. Marinette was always very imaginative and writing a diary had been her way of coping with the day to day.  
  
Being bullied, hopelessly pining over a boy in her class.  
  
It was easy to transform her experiences and write about Bridgette, escaping into a world where she could be a hero and a talented, aspiring fashion designer. Where she had friends and classmates that adored her… Where _he_ secretly loved her.  
  
Alya Cesaire, her nerdy seatmate that kept her eyes perpetually glued to her phone, became Allegra, a lively and vivacious friend that was the best friend a girl could ever have. One that had even dedicated an entire blog to Ladybug, but constantly found herself in danger as she sought out her real-life superhero at every chance.  
  
Chloé Bourgeois, the spoiled daughter of the Mayor who bullied Marinette every day, turned into Melodie, an equally spoiled girl that was responsible for the majority of Papillon’s akumatizations, but loudly proclaimed herself Ladybug’s biggest fan.  
  
And _Adrien Agreste..._  the quiet model son of her favorite fashion designer, was Félix, the overworked and socially awkward boy that yearned to escape from his father’s oppressive control.  
  
But, it was just a dream… One that Marinette secretly built piece by piece, every day of collège.  
  
The young woman bit back a sigh as she stared at the blinking cursor on her computer screen. Memories of another design contest flittered in her head. A moment that changed her life.  
  
Ladybug and Chat Noir had always been her personal fantasy. A safe place for her to turn when Chloé’s taunts became too much and the loneliness of existence felt unbearable. It was the most vulnerable piece of her that she had never wanted to share.  She was content with following her dreams of becoming a fashion designer.  
  
Until everything changed…

 

* * *

 

Gabriel Agreste offered a bowler hat competition with the promise that his son Adrien would model the winning piece.  
  
A young Marinette poured her heart and soul into a hat that she felt was worthy of being worn by the boy of her dreams. Meticulously, she sewed feather after feather, making sure to keep each precious piece aligned and finishing with her pièce de résistance, a perfect, unruffled pigeon feather to flamboyantly fit into the ribbon.  
  
When the day of the competition finally arrived, the young girl had never felt so excited or hopeful. Even if she failed, The Gabriel Agreste would be judging her work; and, his critiques were invaluable. Though, she was disappointed he had chosen not to appear in person and instead sent his secretary with tablet so he could virtually give his commentary.  
  
But from there, her heart sank to the lowest pits of her despair.  
  
Sitting right next to her submission was an identical feathered hat, down to the last stitch. From the black plumes that adorned the sides, the pigeon feather in the ribbon, and even the stitching along the lining. Everything was the same.  
  
“No fair! Marinette copied my design. It’s scandalous! How could you do that?” Chloé sobbed with crocodile tears, drawing sympathy from their class.  
  
“I-I ap-apologize for the situation, Monsieur Agreste, bu- ,” Marinette stuttered, before she was abruptly cut off.  
  
“I believe I’ve seen enough,” the famous designer remarked coldly. “Disqualify her.”  
  
The young teen gasped in disbelief as her hope vanished. She pleaded, “B-but M-M-Monsieur Agreste. Th-this was m-my design.”  
  
“Enough!” Gabriel Agreste commanded, seeming to tower over her despite only appearing from a tablet. “I do not abide thieves and liars Mademoiselle _Boulotte_ . I have no doubt that you took Mademoiselle Bourgeois’ work in a pitiful attempt to obscure your… _imperfections_ .”  
  
The venom in his words sent a heartbroken Marinette rushing home in tears, her masterpiece hat discarded and forgotten. Three days later, she received a letter stating that she was banned from any further competitions under the Agreste Label for ‘Poor Conduct and Behavior’.  
  
In one fell swoop, the girl lost any possible hope of working for her dream fashion designer. Her name would spread throughout the fashion circles; and, she would not be able to showcase any of her work or build a meaningful portfolio that she could use for the future.  
  
Perhaps, worst of all, the man had made it clear when he called her ‘fatty’; her appearance had played a role.  
  
By all means, Marinette had been average. At 166 centimeters and 72 kilograms, she was the exact size of an average French woman. Perhaps, the young girl could have cut back on her sweets or paid more attention to Chloé’s taunts that she 'should be skipping dessert’; but... she was comfortable with herself.  With the new laws banning excessively thin models from fashion shows, she dreamed to find a niche in Paris as the top plus sized designer.  
  
Those dreams died.

 

* * *

 

Collège became unbearable.  
  
The isolation that came from being a pariah left her further to her own devices. Marinette was known as the girl that shamefully stole from the mayor’s daughter. No one wanted to be friends with _that_ girl especially lest they meet the wrath of Chloé.  
  
Of course, Gabriel Agreste’s parting insult about her weight fueled the abuse to new heights.  
  
Vache. Baleine. Truie.  
  
The insults became part of the young woman’s routine. Whether it was snidely commenting about her arse in the halls or mocking her labored efforts during gym class, the spoiled blonde was intent on keeping her miserable.  
  
Ironically, the abuse and ridicule about her size drove her to eat for comfort. What did it matter if she put on a few more kilos? What difference did it make? At least, macarons never mocked her; and, for a moment, they made her _feel_ better…  
  
While her parents commiserated with her, they were by no means the endlessly supportive family that Marinette gave to Bridgette.  
  
Aside from the unsubtle hints about skipping her cookies and sweets, they insisted that becoming a fashion designer with her _growing_ figure was an unrealistic goal. Perhaps, she should reconsider baking. An apprenticeship meant they wouldn’t have to worry about University tuition and no one would pay any mind to another fat baker.  
  
Hearing those words from her parents stung more than giving up her dreams...  
  
But, it was fine.  
  
She learned to ignore the taunts and hurtful ‘advice’. She stopped caring about the numbers on her scale that crept higher.  
  
Sitting alone at lunch meant more time to write about a spotted girl as she danced across the Parisian rooftops. Every inkling of pain or sadness was channeled into grueling fight scenes. Wistful dreams of a blonde haired boy that never mocked or ridiculed her turned into the cheesy attempts at romance from a leather clad hero.  
  
So, she threw herself further into her writing, developing deeper connections and enriching her literary world. A private escape to channel her pain.  
  
At least now, she had a face behind her villain, the cause of her characters’ suffering. A broken man vainly outmatched by a pair of teenagers. Doomed to losing the last connection to his beloved wife.

 

* * *

 

She had not planned on publishing.  
  
As the years ticked by, Marinette kept up a steady stream of writing. Each day of forced isolation allowed her to draw inspiration from the people that ignored or bullied her, becoming her akumatized victims.  
  
However, lycée loomed ever closer; and, with it, a decision. What was she going to do with her life?  
  
Fashion was dead; and, while she maintained her grades in all of her subjects, the young woman did not feel drawn to any particular path. With her parents pressuring her to take a vocational path, she knew her decision could not be met lightly. All she really wanted was to continue her writing…  
  
That’s when it hit her. Why couldn’t she keep writing?  
  
The more she thought about it, the more appealing it became. Every day, Marinette wrote without fail; and, while it took time to proofread and fine tune everything to her satisfaction, her world _felt_ right. Her characters felt real.  
  
But feelings were not enough to bet her future. The pain of rejection and loss of her dream still ached beneath her skin. She needed a way to test herself. She needed to prove that someone, anyone, would be willing to give her writing a chance.  
  
So she mocked together one of her short stories, Le Mime, and posted it for free to the Amazon Kindle Store.  
  
There were no advertisements. No posts on Facebook. Nothing on Twitter. Marinette kept herself as far removed as possible, just to see if even the barest hint of interest would show up. Even her name was changed to that of her main character, Bridgette Cheng.  
  
Then, she forgot about it.  
  
Of course, the young woman had not meant to forget about it. Normally, the anxiety of putting herself out there would have driven her to take it down; but a minor wardrobe malfunction ‘saved’ the day.  
  
Struggling to button her jeans sent her into a completely different kind of apprehension, one that vacillated between starving on celery and gorging on ice cream. When her internal battle quickly and decisively ended with frozen treats as the victor, the chubby girl decided to dust off her old sewing machine and make a few size adjustments to her clothes.  
  
By the time she finally finished working her way through all of her pants and skirts, a week had passed.  
  
When Marinette sat down to enter her Miraculous world again, everything came back to her; and, she navigated to her publishing account to take it down immediately.  
  
Never would she have imagined that her little short story had already been downloaded a thousand times.

 

* * *

 

It had to have been a fluke.  
  
That was what she told herself. There was no way that her little short story could have garnered so much attention in any conceivable universe. Something must have been broken; and, the same person just downloaded her work over and over again.  
  
But, the numbers didn’t lie.  
  
Unsure of what to do, Marinette quickly reformatted another old story, Monsieur Pigeon. Hesitating slightly, she tacked on a one euro price tag, suddenly hoping desperately that a fraction of the people that downloaded Le Mime would be willing to pay for her work...  
  
And they did.  
  
Again and again, people downloaded her stories. Reviews flooded her inbox, praising her characterization, awe for her lovely descriptions, and even requests for more. Before she knew it, the young author found her two forays into publishing begin to steadily climb the ranks of the Amazon France Store.  
  
The dark haired girl couldn’t stop the giddy feeling that bubbled up inside her. It had been so long since she felt so much hope; and, she yearned to capture that feeling.  
  
Ladybug was _popular_ . The guilty pleasure that she used to escape from her dreary existence was _liked_ . It made her heart soar; even if, everyone thought the unknown Bridgette Cheng was the author.  
  
The only people that knew the truth were her parents; and, that was only because she needed to come clean when money began to get deposited into her bank account.  
  
It was nice to get approval even though they were still skeptical of her long term prospects. Regardless, they wanted to loudly proclaim that their daughter was a popular author and hopefully drum up a little extra business for their bakery. Marinette argued with them for hours before they finally acquiesced to keeping her identity hidden.  
  
She couldn’t risk her success with her sour reputation.  
  
When the whispers about her stories began murmur through her class, the young woman felt a bit torn between heartbreak and pride. When Nino or Alya or even Chloé loudly proclaimed their love for the new series, it made Marinette ask herself, “Would they say those things if they knew it was me?”  
  
So, it became her precious secret.

 

* * *

 

Hiding her identity was easy.  
  
No one suspected that fat, unpopular Marinette Dupain-Cheng could even be connected to les aventures de Ladybug et Chat Noir; and, outwardly, nothing really changed for the young woman.  
  
She still went to school. She still got bullied. She still quietly observed her fellow students for inspiration.  
  
But, Marinette was happier.  
  
It was kind of thrilling to have a secret life like her main characters. Being able to blend into the background while everyone talked positively about her alter-ego almost made up for the daily taunts. The young woman her classmates seemed to despise with so much vigor was the rising star author that everyone eagerly awaited.  
  
The secrecy wasn’t perfect.  
  
A large part of her still yearned to finally reveal herself; but, she was patient. Even if the dark haired girl wasn’t worried about the backlash; she still wanted people to like her for herself and not for the overnight fame of being Bridgette Cheng.  
  
One day… she’d tell everyone. Until then, she would dream…

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Took a break from writing my main story and was looking through some fanart for more inspiration. Saw a recent image of a fat grown-up Marinette that lived in a world without the Miraculous. Got me thinking about Paris and the culture of thinness and how average would be perceived. 72 kilos might seem like a lot, but that’s the average weight for women in France.
> 
> Then I started to think, what would Marinette be like without Ladybug in the real world? Just your average Parisian teen. Would Alya still be her best friend or would she just be obsessed with comic books? How would that translate to the bowler hat competition where an Average Marinette doesn’t have the same amount of confidence to point out her special stitching?
> 
> From there, I found some articles that suggest fat shaming a person actually makes them gain more weight and then we have a Marinette that escapes to her own fantasy. Of course, I’d expect her to still be the same creative, passionate girl. Just now her energies are channeled to writing instead of design.
> 
> Is her behavior healthy? No. Escapism is pretty closely related to depression and the same is true for the whole eating for comfort. Does she get better eventually? Depends on whether I continue it. I actually had some perspective from Adrien mapped out to further the story, but #FatMarinette is very different than what I usually write and the story wouldn’t really mean much if she slimmed down. I purposely left her current weight ambiguous, but assume higher than 72 kilos but lower than 100.
> 
> By the way. French has some really weird insults about calling fat men big bowls of soup.


End file.
